Divorce and Domestic Violence: Is Domestic Violence Different from a Civil Harassment?

March 12th, 2010 by Dale Kentucky | No Comments »

The term domestic violence is often subject to numerous misunderstandings. Because of the lack of clarity of what the term actually means, some victims are misled in their search and attempt to have their abuser brought to justice. Therefore it is essential to understand the all aspects covered by domestic violence.

Civil harassment refers to a situation when one person annoys, harasses, injures, or threatens another person. There are many categories of civil harassment, domestic violence being one of these categories. However, domestic violence cases are very special and differ from civil harassment cases because of the relationship between the aggressor and the abuser, and because of the diverse forms of domestic violence.

First, domestic violence is different from other types of civil harassment because of the existing relationship between the victim and his/her aggressor. A civil harassment case can be considered a domestic violence case if the two parties are currently married now or were formerly married to one another, or if the parties share a blood relationship, or the two parties are or were living together, or if the two parties have a minor child in common. If a case does not meet this criterion, it may not be considered as a simple civil harassment case. Further, many times the harm caused by one person against the other is often greater than in other types of civil harassment because of the interpersonal relationships involved.

Domestic violence covers a large array of abuses. This notion is not only restrained to actual physical abuse, but it can also covers any form of emotional abuse, threatening phone calls, disturbances at the place of employment of the victim, stalking. Courts many times take into account any forms of dominance and control over the victim. Because of this diversity, remedies to stop or prevent further domestic violence may be different than remedies used in a civil harassment case.

Domestic violence is pervasive and has plagued many layers of the society. Some studies indicate that there is absolutely no correlation between education level and domestic violence. There is also no correlation with race or religion.

It is important to know how to identify a case of domestic violence. If you believe you are a victim of civil harassment or domestic violence you would be wise to consult an attorney in your area to help you learn where you stand legally and what your legal options are with respect to the laws in your area pertaining to domestic violence and civil harassment.

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Trying Too Hard

March 12th, 2010 by Dale Kentucky | No Comments »

What happens in a relationship when you try too hard?

Have you ever seen Indecent Proposal? The movie starring Demi Moore. Before I go any further, this article is not about selling your body for a cool $1million – although I’m sure an article like that would spark a lot of controversy. There is a quote in the movie which really struck a chord with me, the essence of it is: “if you love something, set it free – if it comes back to you, it is yours forever. If it doesn’t come back to you, it was never yours to begin with.” This quote has had a very profound effect on the way I look at relationships. I used to be petrified of losing a good thing when I had it, so scared that I used to hold on to it very tightly, just in case is slipped through my fingers. The problem is: When you hold on to something so tightly, it cannot breathe – a relationship needs to breathe in order to grow. It took me a long time to come to the realisation that I didn’t need to hold on so tightly.

The problem you have when you spend all your of energy trying to keep hold of something, is that you have no energy left in order to enjoy it. What is the point in having something that you can’t enjoy?

Here is another way to think about it… How much more beautiful is an animal in the wild? Think about that for a moment. Most people prefer to see animals in their own natural environment, obviously, the animal enjoys it too. It is the same in a relationship, it is all too easy to feel trapped. When we feel trapped it is a natural instinct to try to escape, that makes sense doesn’t it? Now, on the other hand – when we feel free, we are able to make our own choices and we tend to gravitate towards the things in our lives which make us feel good…

Now, who would you rather be with; somebody who wants to lock you up in a cage, or somebody who gives you the space and emotional freedom you need?
What I’m really trying to say is this: Are you frightened of losing something in your life? If so, think about your actions – by holding on to something too tightly, you could actually be pushing it away… if you loosen your grip, you will be more likely to enjoy it.
And that is what life is for… enjoy it.

I’m spilling the beans on my own journey to find a real man- and you are invited to my no holds barred blog to find out exactly what i am learning! You can read about my journey at wantarealman.com wantarealman.com