Playing The Catch Me Game - How To Make The Chase Thrilling For Him Or Her
However, when you watch the courtship behaviour of wild animals in their natural habitats — which is where our ancestors discovered this courtship ritual and fine tuned it for their own use — the dance of the hunter and hunted is a sophisticated and genuinely delightful game with lots of good fun. It’s exciting, stimulating, arousing and breathtaking in every sense of the word.
Unfortunately for us, somewhere along the line “chasing” — a growing trend for staying “cool” in the dating ritual — became playing hide and seek with someone who doesn’t want to be caught, tricking the person to take pure baloney for reality, or playing with people’s emotions because it makes the person doing it feel wanted.
My understanding of the “thrill of the chase” which builds up to the “art of “arranging to be caught” is simply a modern version of the art of “wooing”. Where the art of “wooing” is still alive and kicking, it’s considered to be one step above the art of seducing in the delicate dance of courtship. The reality though is that, quite often seducing and wooing happen simultaneously.
This is when two people are trying to get a better feel for each other. Both have already established that there is some degree of attraction/chemistry and an interest in exploring things further. Both the man and woman are aware that the other has other women or other men to choose from and each tries to win the affection of the other. It is similar to the courtship behaviour in the wild where the male and female show off their best moves to get their potential sexual partner to mate with them. Both parties contribute an equal amount of interest and effort — no one expects it to last forever and no one feels tricked or used.
Both individuals also take great pleasure in keeping the adrenaline flowing and things more fun and interesting. This is where the “thrill of the chase” comes in.
The person doing the chasing sets out to and makes the person being chased feel affection and desire. He or she creates incidents, events and experiences that make the person he or she is chasing dream about, miss and long for him or her when he or she is not around. His or her goal is to make the person being chased feel that something important is happening and he or she (the chaser) is the reason.
The person being chased after, on the other hand, maintains a certain degree of mystery, unfamiliarity and “out of reach”. He or she creates incidents, events and experiences (smile in his/her voice when the chaser calls, smile in his/her eyes when together, genuine interest in his/her life etc) that clearly suggest to the person doing the chasing that success is possible, but some effort must be expended to achieve that success. The chaser’s efforts are rewarded by more positive signals and more challenge for him or her to step up and become more of himself or herself and do more than he or she’d dared to do before.
The “chase” inspires both parties not to become complacent or take the other for granted. The “chase” also gives both parties the opportunity to find out what really makes the other tick and what he or she is capable of as a potential long-term partner. As two people get more focused on each, the attraction intensifies and interest in other men and women gradually disappears — for different reasons.
The mistake many men and women make when they are chasing the opposite sex is waste so much time trying to turn the other person’s no’s into yes by saying this and lying about that, doing this and forcing that to happen. They erroneously think that with the right amount of hard work and persistence they can get the other person to change his or her mind. They are so focused on breaking down resistance that they fail to build bridges of genuine affection, desire and longing. Very often they find themselves chasing someone who has long lost interest in the chase. All they have left is persistence which sometimes degenerates into manipulation or begging - or both!.
The men and women being chased after on the other hand make the mistake of confusing mystery with vagueness (hiding their true feelings), unfamiliarity with uncertainty (giving mixed signals) and “out of reach” with inaccessible (making themselves unavailable or running too far ahead). This hiding of feelings, sending mixed messages and making oneself unavailable only serves to confuse and frustrate the chaser. Most people who do this turn round to find that the only thing chasing them is their own shadows.
A man or woman who is not afraid to play the “Catch me” game and knows how to let him or herself be caught is a rare breed in this day and time. Learning this fine art will definitely give you an edge that puts you ahead of the pack making you a more attractive chase.
I’ve written many articles on this delicious way of playing-hard-to-get while making sure that you’re being chased and the chasing actually leads to something positive and promising. If you want to read these articles, go to my Date Doctor website, Articles Section, and click the Playing-Hard-To-Get category). It’s easier than you think!
About the Author: Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of eBook: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness™. Her unique approach to dating has helped hundreds create positive, constructive, honest and fulfilling relationships.
Christine’s websites: torontosnumber1datedoctor.com torontosnumber1datedoctor.com and theartofseducingoutoffullness.com theartofseducingoutoffullness.com